Monday, 29 September 2008


I was bemoaning the stupid little blue sachet(1) as opposed to the 'twist of salt' in Smiths salt & shake plain crisps when I noticed, reading the back of the packet, that Smiths crisps originated near where I live, in a garage in Cricklewood.
As a kid, I loved untwisting the blue 'twist of salt' (an innovative idea for the time) and sprinkling it over the crisps. Eventually the Smiths brand was dropped for Walkers.
I'm still upset about the fact that Walkers Salt & Vinegar comes in green packets rather than blue, and vice versa for Cheese n' Onion. Cheese and Onion should come in green packets, because onion suggests spring onions which are green. Salt & Vinegar should come in blue packets because blue invokes the sea and fish 'n chips upon which we sprinkle salt and vinegar. Changes like this are very irritating. Unnecessary. Stressful even. Why?
The most gourmet crisps I've ever had were sold on the street, freshly fried, in Madrid.
British crisps come in an amazing range of flavours; prawn cocktail, worcester sauce, roast chicken, steak & onion, smoky bacon, lamb & mint, ham & mustard, barbecue, BBQ rib, tomato ketchup, sausage & ketchup, pickled onion, Branston Pickle, Marmite...None of them actually taste like this of course.  
Greg Gutfeld in 'Lessons from the land of pork scratchings' talks about how the British eat crisps in pubs:
"When a bag is purchased, it doesn't matter who buys them, they are for everyone. And this is underlined by the method in which the bag is opened. (One) tears the bag down the seam on the rear of the bag, splaying it out flat so that the crisps are available from all sides by anyone at a table...Generally Yanks open them from the top, and pull from the inside. Only the purchaser can get at them."
(1) Probably introduced for some kind of Health and Safety bollocks.


  1. I am also still pissed off about the green salt and vinegar/blue cheese and onion. Why on earth would they do that? It's *bizarre*. What could posibly be blue about cheese and onion or green about salt and vinegar? You're so spot on Marmite Lover.

  2. I know. And you are but a mere youngster and you feel that way too!
    Lets start a facebook campaign.

  3. Yes, yes, I would join. It's so silly. But then I'm sure there would be lots of change-hating types who have now got used to it and would whinge anyway.

    Obviously after this long we are not just resisting change but actually have a valid point.


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