Sunday, 18 October 2009

Battle of Hastings

The teen went to Hastings yesterday to do geography coursework on tourism. She got up early on her day off to get the train there.
"Did you have a nice time on the journey with your friends? "I ask
"Oh stop sounding so homosexual about it. Soooo gay. 'Did you have a nice time with your friends?' "she mimics in a smarmy mummy voice.
I continue: "Well how was it?"
"It was jokes. We had the two most liberal teachers come with us, they slept the whole journey but made sure they were in another carriage. In our carriage you could see how annoyed all the adults were. I swear every time my friend laughed I could see this guy sighing. She's got a really loud laugh.
"and Hastings? What did you think of it?" I asked.
"It's a shit hole. Nothing there, just some shops and the sea. We spent our whole time in Macdonalds then bought some beers for the journey back"
"Did you manage to ask the questions for your coursework?"
She'd spent days preparing a questionnaire. They were supposed to ask tourists what brought them there, where they stayed, what they did. I said she should ask whether tourists would appreciate a home restaurant in Hastings.
"No way!" she said, staring at me with incredulity
"NO way"
she repeated just in case I hadn't understood the first time.
"There were only residents, no tourists. And the couple of tourists we found when we asked 'could you spare 5 minutes to answer this questionnaire?' refused to talk to us"
I think about this. Of course, what tourist will visit Hastings in October? Really the teachers should have thought this through.
" It would have been better to do it in London, at least there are tourists here. But my teachers said it would be good for us to see another town. Hastings has got the highest suicide rate in Britain or something. The funniest bit was when someone's dog shit in the middle of the tourist office floor. When we went back a couple of hours later, they were still trying to clear it up"


  1. I was thinking of going there to clear me nasal passages. Seeing that a shit hole won't do much to remedy that I think I'll head to Bognor instead. Great post Marm.

  2. I do love your blog. I don't have teenagers but a close friend does and none of us are ever sure which personality we will encounter. Some days its "pretend you don't know me" and on other "you're the greatest". I really don't know how mothers do it, I'd probably be in the broom cupboard with a box of wine.

  3. And of course Hastings has cheap house prices for the south of England coz the train service between there and London is so dire... Did they have to change at Lewes, or just that so slow through train? Long ride for a relatively short journey. What will teachers think of next? Doh! And if they really wanted to feel a lack of excitement they could have headed very slightly along the coast to St Leonards... Hastings town centre is a dump, but the old town is nice... Or that was how it was last time I was in the town, but that must be more than 15 years ago....

  4. Great post - very 'crap towns'. I have to stick up for Hastings though. We had a great week break in Old Hastings last year and our teens loved it.

  5. liberal teachers?
    you're joking..


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