Monday, 29 October 2012

How to make the perfect hash brownies

Just back from Amsterdam where I thought I'd do the touristy thing and have some space cake in a 'coffee shop' where, as most people know, it's perfectly legal. On the border with Belgium however, only locals are allowed to go to coffee shops, to deter the drug traffickers and tourists from nearby countries.
I had the most godawful period pains and a couple of puffs of a joint can be wonderfully relaxing. Cannabis can be helpful in a medical sense, but like everything, it should be used in moderation. What is worrying is skunk. One mental health nurse told me that the majority of admissions to a psychiatric ward from young people were due to skunk addiction. It really messes with your mood regulators.
However on the table next to me, at Stix coffee shop, I saw a group of young men. One of them was very pale, in fact his lips were turning blue. He stood up, then collapsed. It was difficult to wake him and the bored looking coffee shop worker, slapped the kid around the face until he came to.
I got this recipe from a young man of my daughter's connaissance. He would sell them in the playground at school, at the Lycée Francais in London. What if a teacher bought one? I asked. Oh he had a system, said my daughter, he would have a normal brownie on top and offer them that.
Anyway this young man is generally a superb baker and I asked him for his recipe. Do be careful. Only eat a bite then wait 45 minutes. You don't want a ride that you cannot get off.

 Triple Chocolate Special Brownies
200g of good quality dark chocolate, 70% cocoa or more
150g milk chocolate
75g white chocolate
150g unsalted butter
1/8th Jah's green medecine, finely ground (Silver haze not skunk or cheese)
50g chocolate powder
100g self-raiding flour
200g light brown soft sugar
3 eggs
Vanilla essence
1/2 tsp ground cloves
1/4 tsp ground cinnamon
Pinch of ground nutmeg

Preheat oven to 170-180C and line cake tin (s) with baking paper.
Break up the dark chocolate and half the milk chocolate into rough chunks and cut the butter into pieces (set aside a few chunks of dark chocolate for the chocolate chips). Place the butter into a bowl with your weed and bain-marie it until the butter has melted. Mix in your weed properly.
If the THC doesn't bind to the fat in the butter, your brownies wont get you high.
Add the dark and milk chocolate chunks and bain-marie it all, mixing until it's uniform. Take the bowl off the heat and leave it to cool.
Chop the remaining dark and milk chocolate and the white chocolate into small chunks and set aside.
Sieve the chocolate powder, flour, cloves, cinnamon and nutmeg into a bowl and set aside.
Cream together the eggs, sugar and a few drops of vanilla essence until light and fluffy. This will take a while, the resulting mixture should be thick and nearly twice the volume of what you started with. Use an electric mixer.
Fold in the butter, chocolate mixture gently to avoid losing the air you've creamed in. Better yet, add the  creamed mixture to the chocolate bowl to minimise chocolate and drugs loss. You'll end up with a swirly beige and brown mixture.
Fold in the flour, chocolate powder and spices bit by bit. Mix until uniform.
Mix in the chocolate chips and pour into the prepared cake rin, or pour into the rin and sprinkle the chips on top.
Place in the oven and cook for 20-30 minutes. The centre of the brownie should no longer wobble when you gently shake the cake tin. If it does, it needs a few more minutes. Cool for about 20 minutes.
Effects can take between 20minutes and 1.30 to kick in.
Cool in the fridge for the last few minutes to get that extra fudgy texture.

Avoid using large quantities of weed without raising proportions of other ingredients, as it changes the behaviour of the brownies in cooking. They tend to become too soft, fudgy and greasy. If using more than £25 to £30 worth, double the batch size. Do NOT use 'cheese'. Silver haze works well.

Recipe by R. Coleman

Next week: how to cook the perfect crystal meth from Breaking Bad. Only kidding!


  1. Can't stop smiling... I NEVER thought I'd see a recipe like this in print. It takes me back to the '70's.

    1. Make 'em Debs and you will smile even more...

  2. WAY TO GO Maan- far out! Love it ! You naughty girl ! All for the herb ! Jah !

  3. These were gorgeous! I made them for a stag do, halving all the ingredients as I wasn't sure what degree of caner would be attending, and they went down very nicely. Rich and fudgy (unlike previous recipes I have used, where, as Sarah Millican put it, it was almost as if the recipe's author hadn't thought about the cake part at all) with a sweet woozily mellow high. Cheers!

    1. Ha, brilliant. Perfect for a chill out in this weather eh?

  4. Love your recipes and your zest, but above all I love your kitchen photography :)

  5. how many does it make?

  6. i just made it ill tell u if it got me high or not 50 minutes laters when they are done .

    1. Well they can't be too bad. A fortnight later and she's still on 45 minutes.

  7. Lol when I seen the last line I was like wtf?!?... Lol

  8. Ha ha I love it think I shall try them out sometime its brilliant x

    1. Let me know how they taste and if they do the trick.

  9. 1/8th of what? A Cup, A pound?

    1. You are clearly not a stoner.

    2. well im a stoner.. daily for 30 years, we buy in grams oz and pounds in australia and we cook the same. i would like to try tour recipe but 1/8th doesnt make sense to me either hun. please state what a 1/8th measurement might be. i usually do 50gr canna butter and 50 gr butter in my recipe but yours has clove etc which is not in alot of recipes. would love some clarity here so i can smile about it knowingly later. annon because i dont know what all that other stuff in profiles is. shezii australia

    3. I beg your pardon for impuning your stoner rep. An 1/8th is an 8th of an ounce, approximately 3.5 grams.

    4. LOL! Brilliant reply Kerstin.....I have a load of left over Hash/Solid, which I was thinking of putting to good use....If you was using hash, would you double the amount? I can't see an 8th of hash doing much damage.....

  10. can i use hash instead of weed?

  11. Why not cheese? I live in UK and we can't get anything else here besides cheese. What should we do in this case?

  12. I feel your pain! lol

  13. Way to go! That is really a different recipe!


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