Tuesday, 2 September 2008

I blame the parents...

Burqa sewing pattern

Earlier in this post I talked about my darling Anglo-Pakistani pupil. She just called to say that she got 2 'A' grades for her GCSE's in English Literature and English Language. She was such a delight to teach. These strict Muslim families must be doing something right. In fact I'm just about to run up a burqa on my sewing machine for my own sweet teen. 
Some hope.
Today my teenager decided to dye her hair black. She wanted to look like Helena Bonham-Carter in Fight Club (she's already been moving towards that look with an unwashed tangly bob hairstyle and pale face/purple eye make-up, all très heroin chic).
She goes down to Superdrug and buys the black dye. Apparently they are not allowed to sell permanent hair dye to under 18's. The shop assistant asks her age. My teenager replies: "I consider myself to be timeless." This does the trick because the shop assistant shrugs and sells her the dye. 
My teenager then squirts some of one of the bottles in the package all over her head. She hasn't read the instructions. She was supposed to mix two bottles together. Belatedly she mixes them together and covers her head with the stuff. She uses my white towels to do this. Yup.
She then runs up to me, screaming in panic, because while her hair is turning black so is the skin on her face and neck. 
She looks more like Helena Bonham-Carter in Planet of the Apes. 
Of course all of this is because school starts tomorrow and she wants to look cool. 

Helena Bonham-Carter in Fight Club

Helena Bonham-Carter in Planet of the Apes


  1. can't stop laughing
    seen this so many times at home ...
    still funny every time.
    must..control.. gales .. of .. laughter ...

  2. I didn't really lose my temper with her over the white towels cos I remember so well doing the same thing myself when I was her age...
    I often find it hard to keep a straight face when I'm telling her off.
    This teen stage is simultaneously the most annoying and the most fun part of her development so far!

  3. I remember that! I was actually talking to someone at work yesterday, who reads my blog, and she said that remark made by your teenager about being "timeless". I told her where I'd heard that and she said: "Oh, that's where I read it too!"

    So some people who read HPANWO are following the link to Marmite-Lover and reading that too. Hope you appreciate the free publicity! ;-)

  4. I most certainly do, Ben! Also it seems it is working vice versa. Check out Crazyegg. They do a 'heatmap' on your blog, to see where people are clicking and people are clicking on the link to your excellently researched and written blog...in the side-bar.
    This 'heatmap' enables you to design your page better.

  5. LOL, brings back memories of my own teenage hair-dyeing days.

    i've been recommend your blog by a mutual friend: the lovely, samba-playing lorraine p. and she's right, it's most enjoyable

  6. Ah thank you migratingfishswim...you aren't a Pisces by any chance?

    The lovely Lorraine can flirt for Britain...I do think they should bring it in as an Olympic sport actually!

  7. LOL, no another watery sign, cancer.

    i had no idea lorraine was so good at flirting, i know her thru work, so don't get to see that side of her :-)

  8. The lovely Lorraine is of course a Libran, in another era she would have been a courtesan. That's when she's taking time off from incessantly playing the devils advocate, another Libran trait.
    Librans make the best generals, they spend their whole time thinking about how the other side might perceive things, very useful for strategic planning.
    They are at heart Scorpios but with colour sense.

  9. Ah memories - post punk I once had an asymetric cut died blonde one side and burgundy the other with highlights.... Quite the New Romantic post punk look... But I had this done by a hairdresser on the cutprice "do what you like, go mad deal" for student hairdresser - the student started it the the owner was enjoying the concept so much they cut in - I got real value! You could try relating the story to your daughter (but we "wouldn't understand"!). However, before that I did a similarly dumb thing - I wanted to bleacht eh anarchy symbol into my ripped denims, so I got the bleach out on the kitchen floor, but when the bristles of my brush all fell out using the bleach neat I started using my finger! It was sore for at least a week after that! Life - it's a learning experience, hey? (Don't tell her that!)... I'll get you black towels for Christmas!

  10. i also have memories of great/embarrassing post-punk hairstlyes! and a pic at http://www.new.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=2779602&op=2&o=global&view=global&subj=892935293&id=892935293


I would love to hear what you think of this post! I try to reply to every comment (if there is a delay, I am probably away from an internet connection or abroad)