Monday, 21 September 2009


The teen had a bit of a party while I was away this weekend. It's the first time I've ever left her alone for any amount of time. I gave extra keys to the neighbours and asked them to keep an eye.
I knew she'd have a couple of mates over...but when I arrived home, she sighed and said
"I'm so tired"
"How come?"
"From all the tidying up..." She looks at me regretfully but continues bravely "they were really messy"
"Didn't your friends help you?"
"No. I had to clear up all the sick." She brightens "It was cool, we got three bottles of vodka for £15 down the road. They knew we were underage."
"Then my friend made out with one of the boys in the shed."
Internally I gulp.
"What exactly does 'making out' consist of?"I ask gingerly, imagining phone calls from the daughter lost her virginity in your shed...
She groans "Well first you have snogging, then making out, then fingering, then blowjob, then full sex, then licking out."
We've always been quite open about sex but even I was a bit taken aback by this hierarchy of sex territory gained. I'm also interested that fellatio is higher up the scale than cunnilingus.
"So making out is restricted to kissing and tits?" I pry, drawing an imaginary triangle between my mouth and breast area.
My teen rolls her eyes.
"Is this over the bra or under the bra?"
Now she's looking annoyed "Oh for god's sake mum... "
She won't tell me how 'far' she has gone but I don't think it's beyond the 'making out' stage.
But I feel uncomfortable at the idea of some spotty lank haired youth getting a grope of my baby daughter's intimate parts. It doesn't seem right somehow. Them getting that for free. I briefly wish I lived in a culture when I could lock her up in a tower, cover her in a veil and charge a king's ransom for the privilege of marrying her. I also start to feel unaccountably angry, I'm not even sure why. When I lost my virginity, quite late actually, I was almost 18, my mum and dad were horrible to me, calling me a 'slut' for weeks. I now understand that impulse. Your children having sex, even if it's just kissing or petting, feels like a betrayal, almost infidelity. It's like they are no longer your children. There is a raw feeling that they have been besmirched.
I guess you get used to it.
This was a warm up for the real party she is going to have in a couple of weeks.


  1. My goodness! Hire mercenaries to protect her in the REAL party!

    How times have changed. I never got invited to a party like that when I was a teenager (If only!). In fact my mum objected to me having sex with a woman in my bedroom when I was 25!

    It's scarey to see your kids growing up. My own daughter is disarmingly knowledgable about sex and comes out with things that make me blush. I'd be worried if she actually did it, but the good thing is that she seems to know about condoms so if she can't be good she can at least be careful. Better that than the other way round!

  2. Wow, at least it sounds like she did a good job on the cleaning up! Maybe make sure she has some buckets on hand at the next party, they certainly came in handy at my own teenage parties (my parents refused to leave the house but would shut themselves up in their bedroom all night!)

    She also needs to get friends who offer to help clean up! Although I'm not sure I had any of those until I was a lot older.

  3. I can totally relate to the last paragraph of your post. I cried the day my daughter came home with the pill (April last year, she was 15 1/2). Way too early but at least I'm not a granny yet.

  4. thora, i know...does one ever get used to it?


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